This is a long and totally rambling post of my current thoughts and whatnot to document this time in my life. A journal-like post, if you will. If you skip this one, or don’t make it to the very end, I won’t be mad atcha. :)
“Though still extremely premature, babies born during this week have the potential to survive with intensive care that could last weeks or even months.” (source)
On Sundays, I start a new week in gestation and I always check this site to see how big my baby is and what little milestones have just occurred and what is to come in the following week. When I read that sentence above, about my baby being able to survive if he were born right this second, I felt really proud. Kind of like when I ran marathons and passed the 20 mile marker (the farthest I ever trained before the race), and I would think, “Okay! I made it this far and I still feel pretty good, I’m gonna be fine.” Of course, marathons have a way of really stickin‘ it to ya in those last miles…just as I’ve heard pregnancy does. ;) I feel so happy to be on this side of the pregnancy. There’s a lot of unspoken worry deep down, especially in the beginning of “What if I lost it?” which could still happen of course, but the chances (and worry) are less and less the further along we get. Grow, baby, grow!
I can confidently say that my body was made to be pregnant. Pregnancy agrees with me. This body feels completely comfortable growing a child and I absolutely love it. I love it. Sure, there are decidedly unpleasant side effects (like heartburn morning, noon, and night, gah!) - but I never expected my life to be the same once we got pregnant so I don’t resent anything that comes along with this journey. I never sleep through the night anymore. I can’t even remember the last time I did. And it’s really not a big deal. I get up 3-4 times (at least…) to waddle to the potty, then waddle back to bed. And I wake up at least as many times to turn over which is not so much a simple maneuver, but more of a choreographed dance that requires moving the giant pillow I use to support my knees before heaving my belly over to the other side – all as silently as I can muster, so as not to disturb Sleeping Beauty on my left. A couple of times I have woken up in agony from twisting wrong and wrenching my lower ab muscles that are already being stretched to an extreme. It makes me wonder if I’ve done irreparable damage or if I should do like Jessica Alba did and wear a corset after giving birth to help those muscles find their way back home after the baby’s born.
Last night, as I slipped back into bed from yet another trip to the bathroom, I laid down with both my hands on my belly and for the first time felt the baby turn and flip over. It was the first time I felt something other than a kick or quick flutters. This was slow and undulating, rocking from side to side. Almost like waves. It made me smile a sleepy smile in the dark and drift back to sleep where I dreamed about giving birth… and telling my midwife to “shut up and let me focus” when she was cheering me on during pushing. Haha! Sounds about right. ;)
Let’s see, what else is new? I cut my hair! Cut off a lot actually, but it wasn’t even a big deal, even though I’ve been keeping my hair long for about six years or so. Ordinarily I would agonize over this kind of important life decision (eye roll) for weeks, gather lots of images to show my hairdresser, convince myself that right now really isn’t the right time to be cutting off so much hair since my face is rounder than usual and short hair would just accentuate that fact (another eye roll). But this time I just called and got an appointment the next day, walked in and told my guy (John Robert at Dragonfly Salon, Atlanta peeps! He’s the best! And super hunky too.) to cut it short and trusted him to make me pretty. I don’t even know how many inches were cut off (there was a lot of hair though). I realized I‘ve reached a time in my life where that kind of thing just doesn’t make it on the priority list of things to obsess about anymore. Another milestone in life. The “I don’t give a $&*#!” milestone. And that feels good!
I finally bought some maternity jeans a couple weeks ago and it’s ....AMAZING to be able to wear real pants instead of the same rotation of dresses and leggings that I’ve been wearing for months. I don’t know why I waited so long. I also got a few shirts and finally a couple of new bras (it was getting hilarious with my other ones..). It was one of those trips to Target where you walk in to just buy milk and trash bags and $200 later you’re like, “Wait…what just happened?” Target has that power over everyone, I know you’ve been there before too.
Parker and I built a book shelf/book rack for the nursery this weekend and changed out the light fixture in there too. It only took us all freaking day and two unplanned trips to the hardware store, but hey, we’re making progress! In the middle of a very frustrating moment trying to get the light fixture up, I rubbed my belly and said, “Oh baby boy, you will have no idea how hard your mom and dad worked to make this room special for you. You probably won’t even think it’s that special because you’ll never know otherwise.” But isn’t that the way it is for parents? Parents work so hard for their kids and the kids don’t even realize it? Ah well, sign me up!
Also on the nesting front, I have been organizing and cleaning like mad! Last week I went through our kitchen and took every single thing out of every single drawer and cabinet and vacuumed all crumbs, dust, whatevertheheckfallsinthere, and scrubbed them with a magic eraser until they were brand spankin‘ new again. This never would have happened before because I wouldn’t have even noticed the job needed to be done, but these nesting hormones don’t miss a beat. And then I took on the project of organizing my spices in matching jars from World Market, which I’m still giddy about. Our label maker really got a workout that day. Behold:
Is there anything more satisfying?! With room to spare too. I still have to empty the fridge, scrub it clean, and reorganize it (I’m writing this post to procrastinate doing that actually…) and I’ll be done having my way with that room.
Also, in case you saw on Instagram, our air conditioning went out last weekend, but thankfully we’re back to blasting it 24/7. I’m not kidding - it is SO HOT. So much hotter for a very pregnant girl than the rest of the population, I swear. Just typing that gives me hot flashes. I made myself comfortable in front of a vent once it was fixed.
While it was broken, we had to retreat to my parent’s house over the weekend while we waited for a technician to come out the following Monday. Oh and then! As the tech was leaving, it was raining and somehow he tripped and fell into this brick column outside in front of our house (it doesn’t actually hold up the roof or anything, it’s a real head-scratcher)…and the whole thing came crumbling down! Evidence:
Parker walked outside to see what the noise was and found the poor guy just staring in shock at the mess he had just made and in no way could possibly fix. The guy felt so bad and was SO embarrassed. Poor thing! What he didn’t realize was that he did us a huge favor! We were planning on getting rid of that thing anyway when we build a porch over the concrete this fall and were dreading having to load up and haul all the brick to the dump. He took it all away for us as an apology and we “called it even”. I’m just glad it didn’t fall in to our cars or the windows (or the tech, obviously)! Could have been bad, but ended up just a happy accident.
Okay, enough rambling. This is the longest post about nothing in particular ever. Over and out.